Fear Experiment #4 – Play an Original Song
This is the fourth and final experiment in the Fear Series. Every week in the month of January, I tried to do one thing that scares (scared) me. This is in order to practice overcoming fear. If you haven’t already, check out the How to Overcome Fear post!
I know, it’s February. But better late than never 😀
Why am I doing this?
Of all the fear experiments I’ve done, this is probably the most nerve-racking for me. I’ve been playing the guitar and writing music for a long time but I’ve never ever performed a song I’ve written in public before. There are only a handful of people that have heard recordings of songs I’ve written. And there’s only one person in the world in the presence of whom I’ve performed a song I’ve written. Most people don’t even know I write songs.
I have been terrified to be vulnerable in this way. I’m not very confident in either my singing or my writing. So to give people the opportunity to peer into my soul like this is extremely uncomfortable. It sounds dramatic but that’s how I feel. So I must remember this quote:
If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.
-John C. Maxwell
So this is a great final fear experiment and it would mark a huge milestone for me. I’ve been procrastinating doing it (which is why it’s February). But I won’t let myself hide from it anymore. Growth is what I’m after. And this will help me grow in several ways – I’ll overcome a fear, I’ll get better at performing, I’ll get feedback to improve my songwriting/singing/playing. So this is great.
So, as outlined in How to Overcome Fear, I’m trying out the techniques:
- Practice Bravery – If I want to be better at overcoming fear. I must practice it, just like with any skill. So since this is one of the things I’m most afraid to do, doing it would mean HUGE growth for me.
- Assess the danger – Not considering humiliation or embarrassment, there is really no real danger. The worst thing that could happen is that people don’t like the song. And in that case, I can get constructive feedback on how to improve my writing or my singing or my playing. I will improve by doing this. So, as a matter of fact, there is only upside.
- Forget the outcome – Okay. So I’ve established that there’s no danger, so now I can forget about the outcome. The point of this exercise is to express myself and to grow. So clear my mind of everything except simply singing the song. The outcome is irrelevant.
Let’s do this 🙂
“Guards” by Zale
So this song is called Guards. I actually just named it but I wrote this song about 2-ish years ago. I was listening to a lot of singer-songwriter acoustic music at the time so this has a similar vibe. I’ve played it for one person before – my mom. And one other person has heard a recording of a part of it. So this will be a huge jump.
Here it is:
Tell me what you see in your dreams
When you’re lying awake or you’re fast asleep
When you’re most vulnerable, most at peace
When your thoughts are boundless and your soul is free.
Show me what it’s really like inside
Where you see with your subconciousness, not with your eyes
Take me to a world that you created
Take me on a journey through your mind
Call off your guards
Share this one breath with me
Maybe then our dreams can link
Our minds can sync
We’ll resonate in peace amidst
The silence. We are islands
But these waves connect us
So let this space connect our passions
We’ll have a conversation
In the right ways.
I’m standing on the outside looking in
I’m standing at your front door listening
You’ve got a beautiful home
I saw it through your window
And from what I can tell
There’s no doubt you have a beautiful soul
I hear the music coming from your living room
I see the neighbours coming out to listen too
Drawn to the magic coming from your lips
Enchanted by the dancing of your finger tips
I knock on your door asking you to let me in
You’re hesitant, I’m sure that you’re not used to this
Take my hand and connect with my energy
No need to speak, our hearts will synchronize their beats.
I’m happy I did this and I look forward to the feedback for this song. This has been an amazing journey. I definitely would not have been able to do this had I not been practicing to overcome fear over the course of January. There’s no doubt that I’m less fearful, more confident, and more comfortable with myself than ever before. I feel fulfilled by that.
Again I say, Overcoming fear feels GOOD! I will continue to do things to push myself and expand my comfort zone and I hope this will lead to greater and greater things. If you’re reading this, please embark on a similar journey. It’s extremely rewarding.
I have, without a shadow of a doubt, grown. Thank you to everyone who supports this.